Washington DC: White House blames WMDs and Osama Bin Ladens Al-Qaeda network for Tornado Rampage in the Mid-West

By Dave Phillips

May 10, 2003

The White House today has stated that the fierce weather that has plagued the mid-west with 277 tornados that have killed more than forty people, and caused damage estimated at over 650 million are a direct result of WMDs or Weather of Mass Destruction.

President George W. Bush in a speech given to Congress today, stated that documents found in Iraq, show a direct link between Saddam Hussein, and Osama Bin Ladens Al-Qaeda network that they were developing an atmospheric weapon designed to cause severe changes in weather patterns.

The President also said that while his intelligence agencies were aware of there desire to develop these WMDs, they thought that they were at least six to twelve months away from actually being able to deploy the devices.

George W. Bush went on to say that it was his hope to allow the WMDs to be fully developed, and then seize the WMDs so that they could be used for humanitarian purposes.

The President said that while he was praying, he heard a voice telling him that he could use the WMDs to bring rain to Desert areas to make them fertile, so that nations could grow crops and be able to feed them selves.

While the President thought that this was a good idea, he also felt that if these WMDs were used for the purpose of turning deserts into fertile lands, it would lead to the loss of millions of jobs in the United States.

The President stated that if starving nations were to have an abundance of food, that there would be less fighting between nations, which would lead to cuts in Defense Contractors incomes, who would then have to lay off workers.

So President Bush has added the WMDs to his MUST have list, along with Saddam Hussein, Osama Bin Laden, and the other WMDs that are hiding in Iraq.

Presidential spokesman Ari Fleischer said the President would not be answering any questions until his MUST have list is complete.