"There are too many children going to bed hungry," said the President, "and this new initiative will mean that there is more food available, which creates meals, and meals are what this country needs in order to fight hunger."

A White House aide, speaking on condition of anonymity, explained the new proposal by comparing it with the tax cut. "Some really naive people think that the way to create jobs is to create direct tax incentives for job creation. A much more effective approach is to give a lot more money to rich people. They already have more than they could ever use, but they have to do something with it, right? Chances are they'll use it to create jobs, rather than to buy another Italian sports car or another chateau in the Alps."

"The same thing goes for food distribution. Democrats and other simple-minded people might think that you can solve the hunger problem by feeding the hungry. No, no, no! That's just backwards. You solve the hunger problem by giving free food to the people who need it least. They know food - they're the ones to make meals. And meals are what it takes to feed the hungry!"

Also in the works is a plan to let mining and chemical companies set environmental policy. "Who knows more about pollution than them?" asks our source.